Penguins, Boys, and Other Happy Things from My Life

In honor of the graduate


Skittles from Grace


My desk


My monkey


A rediculously funny picture


Friends on a sunny day


What everyone calls "The shovel picture"


Prospectors



I still can't look at this one without laughing. My guys are the greatest.

You're Bigger!

Have you ever gone back to a place that was special to you when you were younger, and which you had not visited for many years? Did it seem the same to you? Or did you find it smaller? Less magical? So often that is the way it is. After we grow up and return to a special childhood place we see it differently. We are bigger, thus it seem smaller. We are more knowledgeable, thus it does not seem as incredible.

It is not so with our God. As we grow and learn more of the world He does not seem smaller, weaker, or less magical. C. S. Lewis says it like this in Prince Caspian:
"Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

Is that not a thrilling thought? Instead of our God seeming smaller and less magical as we grow, He grows as well. Not because He is changing, but because we understand more of Him.

In View of Eternity

I have struggled with questions about health. Contemplated God’s reasons for allowing His children to suffer for prolonged periods of time. I have asked this question numerous times before, and each time the Lord has given me words of comfort - always a slightly different perspective, always a new view of His character.

Recently I found myself asking again. How could this possibly be for His glory and our best good? As I sat on my bed, crying and questioning, the Lord gave me some verses. They have come to mean even more to me as I have thought on and prayed over them.

2 Corinthians 4
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

An eternal perspective. A lifetime seems oh so long, especially in the light of pain and illness, until we view it in light of eternity. What is seventy or eighty years compared to infinity? This is how long we will live perfect lives, apart from our frail bodies. Can we not endure anything for a lifetime? Knowing that it is preparing us for eternity?

It is ok to not know why. We don’t have to know why the Lord does thing in order to trust Him. If we seek to know everything, we will be filled with pride… Remember Lucifer? We do not have to understand in order to believe that something will work good in us eventually, nor do we have to see that good now.

So I remain content to trust my all-knowing, all-powerful God. I rejoice that He finds me, and others, worthy to suffer for His sake. I relish the knowledge that “We have not a High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities.”

God is faithful.

A conversation with myself

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God…”

Um hum. That’s nice.

“…and it doth not yet appear what…”

Wait a minute. Back up.

“Now are we the sons of God.”

Incredible.

Children, descendants, of…. God? Wow.

The legacy of deity.

The manifestation and representation of the Holy One.

The “only Bible some may ever read.”

Is this just a bit scary to you?

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God.”

The Covenant of Joy

My vow:
Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by Thy grace I will do it.

My Constraint:
Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.

My Confidence:
Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.

My Joy:
To do Thy will, O God.

My Discipline:
That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints

My Prayer:
Conform my will to Thine.

My Motto:
Love to live, live to love.

My Portion:
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.

Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservest; to give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God.
~Amy Carmichael

May it be so with me.

"And You Mourn"

I replay the words over and over in my mind. “You wait, and ask God how to love them,” she said, “and you mourn.”

A friend came over for lunch today. My mom, brother and I all sat around the table with her and talked. We talked as we have not in a very long time. We talked about dancing, about God’s will and planning our lives, about asking questions and about faith.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, as we were jumping from subject to subject, I asked a question. “How do we love God? How do we accept His love through people without becoming too attached to the people themselves?” These are questions I have asked with tears at many points in my life. They have many names attached to them. The answers seem just as illusive as ever. How attached am I supposed to be to people? Why is it that I love people so much but they don’t seem to want to be around me? How can it be that a close friendship so quickly dissipates and suddenly we find nothing to talk about? Why do I still care so much? Why does it hurt so much? Little by little I have learned to not be so devastated by these losses, but I still ask the questions, and yes, I ask in tears.

Today I was confronted by puzzled looks and cocked heads. “What is wrong,” I was asked, “with becoming attached to people? God shows us His love through them, and we show our love for Him through them as well.” I paused in confusion. Long ago God shattered the belief that I wasn’t supposed to depend on people because I only needed Him. He showed me that He uses people to give Himself to me. Still, was I not supposed to detach myself from the channel, and only cling to the One who was pouring Himself through them? Today I was given a different picture. I was told that we are to love the people God places in our lifes, and that love is never without attachment. Hmm.

Then we moved on, talking about what we should question and the right and wrong ways to question. We finally cleaned up lunch and my friend went home. But my mind was still back on the subject of loving people. “Mom, did you mean that it is impossible to become too attached to people?” She paused, “Well, I lean heavily toward that. Of course, it is wrong to smother them, or to be so wrapped up in them that you exclude the other people in your life. But I do not believe we can love people too much.” The tears gathered in my eyes as I asked, “Then what are we supposed to do when the people we love push us away or do not have time for us, or no longer seem to need or want us?”

“You wait, and ask God how to love them, and you mourn.”

As I turned away to hide the tears flowing down my face I pondered that thought. Was it ok after all that I cared so deeply? Was it truly right for me to delight in the friends God has given me and to desire for them to delight in me as well? Was this not an expression of attachment to the “things of the world” as I had feared, but rather an expression of loving and being loved by God?

It is good to love. And it is ok to mourn! It is good to mourn. This rings true in my spirit, but my heart still aches and wishes for an easier answer. And so it often is. Yet, what freedom!

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12

A Little Sunshine

As I sit here, feet in the dirt, back to a tree, sun on my face, I cannot help but feel that I am loved and that the life stretched before me will be a beautiful adventure. Yes, God is good, for how could He be otherwise and have planned for me such a satisfying moment in time?

It’s amazing the difference a little sunshine can make.